How do only children compare with other children emotionally and academically?

Families are shrinking. Fifty years ago, shows like The Waltons depicted large families with more than half a dozen kids. According to the Pew Research Center, the average American family downsized from 3.7 children in 1960 to 1.9 currently, and about 20 percent of households with children are one-child families. The single-child configuration is the fastest growing family unit. The reasons for the only-child family are many and varied: they include finances, infertility, age of parent, medical concerns, and the plain desire to have only one. Given the stresses of modern marriage, job pressures, the cost of raising children, the increase in one-child families is understandable.

The Trend Toward the Only-Child Family

Psychologist Susan Newman offers some reasons for the trend toward only children: Women, who are marrying and starting families later in life, have fewer years for childbearing. The divorce rate is still high, which affects the timeline of having subsequent children. The cost of raising and educating children is high. Adoption regulations have tightened. More women are in the workforce with young children, and managing large families is difficult.

Who are the parents of only children?

Many only children are being raised by parents who choose to have a child on their own. These women are in large part educated, responsible, emotionally mature, and fiscally able to support their offspring. Many of them are in their thirties and forties and embrace advances such as sperm donation and in-vitro fertilization to become mothers.

Do only children do well in school?

It’s not surprising that only children get more attention from parents. One study found that only children enjoy parents who read often to them, which promotes higher performance academically as well as greater verbal skills than children with siblings.

Are parents happier with only one child?

A Danish study of 35,000 adult identical twins found that couples are happier with children, but women feel happiest with having only one child. Research from the University of Pennsylvania, found that people with children are happier than people without children. However, having a second or third child doesn't increase parents' happiness.

What is "only-child syndrome?"

More than a hundred years ago, psychologist G. Stanley Hall, the first president of the American Psychological Association, wrote that “being an only child is a disease in itself.” He described only children as spoiled, selfish, self-absorbed, lonely, antisocial, maladjusted, and bossy. At the time, people bought into these stereotypes because of the impression that only children get all the attention as well as everything that they want. While Hall's theories have been abandoned, stereotypes still remain.

Raising One Child

With or without siblings, depending on the child himself, a parent may be called on to help orchestrate his time. But no parent should feel that they need to fill their child’s time. For only children, they are largely fine with being independent. He is the child able to amuse himself and is perfectly content when left to his own devices.

Will my only child be lonely and bored?

Without constant parental input, only children are good at utilizing the extra time they have. When you worry that your child may be bored or lonely without a sibling, consider there is a significant and useful upside of alone time. It fosters creativity, which also encourages a child’s independence and ability to entertain herself.

Do only children have more imaginary friends?

One would think that more alone time would result in having more pretend friends. Research from the University of Oregon shows that about 65 percent of all children have make-believe friendships. While only children might be imaginative, they do not own this territory.

Does being an only child affect creativity?

Only children may show signs of having greater language perception and processing skills, which may affect the way they think, they appear to be flexible thinkers as well as creative thinkers. And recent research suggests that these differences might be reflected in the development of the brain.

Can a parent become too close to an only child?

Only children tend to be closer to their parents than children with siblings. Because of this parent-only child tight bond, many only children are alert to and sensitive to their parents’ feelings and moods. There are no siblings to divert or diffuse household worries, which may lead to an only absorbing the troubles of a parent.

Will I be a burden to my only child when I am elderly and need care?

Understandably, parents of only children, especially in some cultures, do not want to burden their one child when they reach old age. But it is not uncommon for siblings to disappoint when parents need elderly care. What matters is the family—both biological and non-biological— that one cultivates throughout life and calls on in times of need. Many people can and do step in to help—including cousins, close friends, aunts, uncles, and partners past and present.

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