When you're in conversation with someone, it's common for your mind to drift to other thoughts. For example, maybe you have a lot on your plate, and you're thinking of what all you need to get done. Maybe you just argued with your partner, and you're still upset about it. Or, maybe you're exhausted, and you start fantasizing about how cozy your bed will be when you turn in for the night. Show
When your mind begins to wander, you're likely still hearing the other person, but you're not truly listening to what they have to say. However, this can negatively impact your conversations and relationships with people, if they feel that you're rarely listening to them. With inputs from a psychologist, this article breaks down the differences between hearing and listening and describes how they impact mental health. It also provides some tips to help you become a better listener and improve your relationships. Hearing vs. Listening“Many people use the words “hearing” and “listening” interchangeably; however, there are several important differences between the two,” says Kelly Workman, PsyD, a psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center. According to Workman, hearing is the passive intake of sound while listening is the act of intentionally working to comprehend the sounds (e.g., words or background noises) you hear. Kelly Workman, PsyDThe saying ‘In one ear, out the other’ speaks to the difference between hearing and listening. — Kelly Workman, PsyD Hearing
Listening
HearingHearing is a passive, involuntary, and sensory process in which we perceive sounds. It is a physiological response that involves our perception of sound. It does not require focused attention. For example, if you’re watching television, you can still hear the sound of traffic or sirens outside, your neighbor’s dog barking, and people laughing in the hallway. ListeningListening is an active, voluntary, and intentional process that involves making sense of the words and sounds you hear; it requires your attention. In turn, you may develop an emotional response to what you hear. Listening with the intent to understand is referred to as active listening. For example, if you’re listening to someone talk about a difficult day they had at work, you will probably have your full attention focused on them. As they speak, you will start to understand what their experience was like and the impact it had on them. This will help you make thoughtful comments and ask relevant questions to further understand their experience. The Role of Hearing and Listening in Mental HealthBoth hearing and listening play an important role in our lives. Hearing is a form of sensory input whereas listening is a way to form connections with other people, according to Workman. She explains the role these functions play in our mental health. Importance of Hearing in Mental HealthHearing is an important sense that helps us navigate the world. The loss of hearing can have a profound effect on mental health as it could lead to anger, social withdrawal, changes in our sense of self-worth, and depression. It is important to keep in mind that using sign language and paying attention to body language are ways you can listen without the sense of hearing. You can seek mental health care if you are experiencing depression or adjustment difficulties due to the loss of hearing. Importance of Listening in Mental HealthWe are social beings and have a universal need for connection and belonging. Listening is what enables us to develop increased curiosity about other people’s experiences, increased compassion and empathy, and increased connection. If you are not listening to others or being listened to, it can negatively affect your sense of connection and belonging. You can probably think of a time when you were not being listened to; the experience may have caused you to feel devalued, uncared for, and lonely, all of which can contribute to feelings of shame, anxiety, and depression. Listening and engaging with others can strengthen your relationships. Similarly, the lack of listening can create tension and distance in relationships, make it difficult to resolve conflicts, and affect your mental health and well-being. What Does It Mean to Hear and not Listen?“People often listen with the intent to respond rather than the intent to understand. This means that they are relying more on hearing than listening,” says Workman. Workman lists some reasons why you may be hearing and not listening:
Kelly Workman, PsyDThe implication of hearing rather than listening is that it might be hard to feel connected to others. — Kelly Workman, PsyD It’s also possible that you just might not be that interested, in which case Workman says it is important to check in with your values and have awareness of what types of connection and relationships are important to you and what type of communication partner you want to be. Tips to Become a Better ListenerIt is in fact possible to become a better listener. Workman suggests some tips that can help you improve your listening skills:
A Word From VerywellWhile we often equate hearing with listening, the former is typically a passive activity whereas the latter is more active. There are in fact steps you can take to become a better listener. Making the effort to actively listen to the people around you can help you connect with them and improve your relationships with them. By Sanjana Gupta Thanks for your feedback! Which of the following statements about listening is not true?The option which is not true about listening is C) It is a passive, constant process. In English linguistics, passive process is referred to a process which is not quiet active or a process in which the other person is not involved.
Which statement is true about hearing versus listening?Explanation: Listening is an active process and it is much different from hearing. It involves much more than just the 'reception of sound' by the ear.
Which form of listening occurs when you are trying to experience what another person is thinking or feeling?Empathetic listening is the most challenging form of listening and occurs when we try to understand or experience what a speaker is thinking or feeling. Empathetic listening is distinct from sympathetic listening.
When listening to someone it is important to listen for the underlying?Listen for total meaning: Listen both for content and also for the underlying emotions. Respond to feelings: Sometimes the real message is in the emotion rather than the surface content. In such cases, you should respond to the emotional message.
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