Can You Recognize a Good Essay?After you have outlined your essay, writing should be the easy part—that is, if you have planned well. It’s important to realize, though, that it takes practice to do all of this in an hour. That’s why it is important both to practice writing responses to example DBQs and to analyze your own essays to figure out how they would score. Show Prompt:Evaluate the extent to which railroads affected the process of empire-building in Afro-Eurasia between 1860 and 1918. Let’s revisit the rubric and think through how you might earn a full-credit score on an essay. Read the rubric, then click on the rubric to see an explanation of how to earn that point.
Now, read through the following essay and figure out how you would score it (out of 7 points). As you read, ask yourself:
The invention of the steam engine allowed for more efficient movement of peoples, goods, and ideas around the world and among empires. The key use of the steam engine can be found in the use of the railroad and trains. For large-land based empires in Afro-Eurasia the train and steam engine allowed for a tighter control of their territory and the movement of goods and people. The British Empire controlled much of Africa and in order to rule the interior peoples and exploit the natural resources they constructed railroads to effectively and quickly move troops and raw and manufactured goods around. Document 4 is a map of the Eastern half of Africa and shows the territory controlled by the British and the railroad put in place as well as those planned on being put in place in 1899. The plan proposed would connect Cape town, South Africa with Cairo, Egypt and would allow for efficient movement through British and German territories. The plan was introduced by Cecil Rhodes, a well-known British entrepreneur, explorer, and imperialist. As an imperialist, Rhodes would have greatly benefited from the proposed railway system along with the British and German states. It would have allowed for tighter control by the colonialist/imperialist governments and increased their empire’s power. Document 6 corroborates this theory that the railroads would lead to more control from the imperialist governments. Document 6 is from Ernest Roume, a French governor of West Africa in 1904 and he proposed that the railroads would help bring the country/region out of “poverty and barbarism” and that is the French government’s “duty as a civilized nation” to construct railroads. By increasing the “lines of penetration” into the “immense regions” of French West Africa, Roume hopes to increase the amount of raw goods flowing out of Africa and into the French government. This would be made possible by building railroads and would greatly increase the power of the French state. As shown by these two documents, railroads would increase the power and wealth of the imperialist empires that were present in Africa. Railroads were not only wanted in Africa, however. Other empires besides the Europeans were interested in the use of railroads such as the Chinese and Ottomans. Document 2 is a memorandum to the Qing court in 1867 written by a dynasty official advocating for domestic reforms. In it, they argue that by building railroads: “China will likewise enjoy great benefits from them in the future.” They also argue that the railroads will be “quite beneficial to the poor people.” This reveals that there would be both short and long-term benefits to the construction of railroads in the Qing Empire. Likewise, in Document 3 the author argues that, “to construct a railway in this region, both to solve these problems and to show the power of caliph” would be beneficial to the Ottoman empire. The problems referred to in the quote are in order for Muslims to get to Mecca and Medina they must either suffer embarrassment on foreign ships or travel the dangerous rounds by camel. The author is a government report written in 1893 addressing a proposal for a railroad from Damascus to Mecca. Both the Qing official and the Ottoman report reveal that railroads were not only used by European powers and that they could be used for regions other than control and exploitation. The railroad provided key functions to maintaining and benefiting empires and empire building. There are, however, some drawbacks to the railroads as demonstrated in Documents 1 and 5. Document 1 is a petition from high-caste Indians to the British governments in 1866 and addresses the problem that second-class and third-class citizens are not given due respect when on trains. They claim, “the miseries suffered equal the horrors of the ‘middle passage’” referring to the transportation of slaves across the Atlantic Ocean. This Document goes to show that the railroads has negative effects on the native populations of imperialist colonies. Another negative effect brought about by the railroads is increased rivalry among large empires. As seen in Document 5: “Powers that have enormous interests at state in the Far East… will make to find a new, solid, impenetrable, self-sufficient Russia…” This Document is from Sir Henry Normal, an English politician in 1901 who was discussing the Trans-Siberian Railroad and its benefits to Russia and drawbacks for other imperialist powers. To conclude, railroads allowed for greater control of colonies by imperialist nations as well as better transportation for large empires and their people while at the same time creating class and race conflict as well as harnessing the tensions and rivalries among powerful nations. What score did you come up with? Click the Answer button to see how the College Board scored the essay. The response earned 1 point for thesis/claim because it claims that railroads promoted greater centralized control of movement in the empire. The response earned 1 point for contextualization because it describes a broader historical context of transportation technology and European expansion relevant to the role of railroads in the process of empire- building in Afro-Eurasia in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. The response earned 2 points for using evidence from the documents because, although document 7 is absent from the essay, the remaining six documents are used to support an argument in response to the prompt. The response did not earn the point for using evidence beyond the documents because the nondocument discussion in this essay is quite limited and mostly lacking in specific historical evidence; the tangential reference to the Middle Passage is only loosely connected to the topic of the essay. The response did not earn the point for document sourcing because although it analyzes the sourcing of document 4 and attempts to analyze the sourcing of document 6, it does not meet the required three-document threshold for this point. The response did not earn the point for demonstrating a complex understanding because the mechanical links between documentary evidence and the thesis of the essay only demonstrate a straightforward, competent argumentation lacking in nuance. Thesis: 1 What was the extent to which railroads affected the process of empire building in AfroIn Afro-Eurasia, between 1860 and 1918 railroads greatly benefited the process of Empire Building. The use and construction of railroads did so by allowing different regions of the world interact, provide reliable transportation, allowed the poor to work, and drew ideas and ambitions together.
How did railroads affect imperialism in Afro“The construction of railroads in Afro-Eurasia helped European imperialism because it allowed Europeans to increase their political power in Asia and Africa.”
When was the industrial revolution in AfroPrompt: Evaluate the extent to which railroads affected the process of empire-building in Afro-Eurasia between 1860 and 1918. The Industrial Revolution started in Britain in the 18th century and led to incredible British wealth and power.
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Evaluate the extent to which railroads affected the process of empire-building in Afro-Eurasia DBQ
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